Thursday, April 9, 2015
I idolize myself. I idolize my thoughts to the point that I am paralyzed be fear and so debilitated I don't even want to try anymore. I idolize my feelings to the extreme that I am willing to tear down the ones that I claim to love in order to get my way. I idolize what people say about me so much that I will edit, modify, cut and paste the best parts of myself in order to please others, in fear they will disapprove of me. I idolize the compliments I'm given to the degree that if I'm anything less than smart, or funny, or nice, or a good writer, or someone who always knows exactly what to say, that any and every time I fail to be these things, I hide myself away for fear who I really am will be revealed and no one will ever love me. I idolize what I do so much, that every time I fail, living seems like the hardest option. I idolize my distractions from my inadequacy and I am restless and dissatisfied without them.
"And God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them."- Genesis 1:27
Considering that we were created much like our creator, it isn't such a far-fetched idea that as soon as we take our eyes off of him that we think we are him. Whenever anyone preaches on idolatry, they shoot straight to Romans 1:18-32, which gives an in-depth analysis on the corruption, futility, and wickedness of the world, and God's prolonged wrath against them. More poignantly though, how they worshiped the created rather than their creator (v. 25), whom they were made to worship. They worshiped their sexuality, their money, their achievements, etc., and in essence themselves.
In a world where sovereignty of self is so valued, where chasing your dreams, finding your identity and doing what you want has always been taught as good and right, Romans isn’t so ancient and irrelevant as we may assume. And although chasing your dreams or finding who you are isn’t immoral in nature, it is treasonous and adulterous, in heart when made an ultimate priority, over he who we were made to love and adore above all else.
Because ultimately God wants our hearts. He wants to be all we think about and he wants to be included in everything we do. He wants to be our everything. No part of our lives should be hidden from his fold. And if it seems like that is too much to ask for, it may put into perspective to remember that we are already giving all of ourselves to something or someone else- an idol. And they most likely didn’t make us, walk in our shoes, die to bring us to themselves, and give everything of themselves in order to have us. Because even if it isn’t God, we all worship something. And it will ask for everything. The only difference is that God asks, already having given everything for us. When I think about that, I seem a lot less magnificent.